Stepping off on a new adventure to a healthier me requires the world to not attempt to come crashing down around my ears. I've always been a multitasker and have no problem working on a number of different things at once. But add negative stress from someone I love becoming ill and my best laid plans will quickly go to hell in a hand basket.
This past weekend were two of the worst days I've had in a long time. That's my sweetie and my constant companion of fourteen years in the picture above. He has seen me at my best as well as my worst. He has been my guardian, my companion, and the gatekeeper of my greatest secrets for many years. But now I worry for him.
About six months ago he developed a small cyst just behind his left ear. Over the months it continued to grow until I was really concerned. Sunday I was sitting in my chair when he came up to be petted. I reached down to pat his head and drew back a hand covered in blood. The cyst had burst and now my sweetie was drenched in blood.
I fought panic as I tried to clean him up. This is my baby. I raised him from a 5 month old kitten and I didn't know if he was going to be alright. After cleaning him up as best I could without trying to bathe him, I walked into my study to discover a large path of blood smeared across two walls and one rocking chair like someone had been bludgeoned to death in that room.
I felt sick to my stomach and spent the next two days wondering if my furry companion was going to leave me. I'm a stress eater so I also worried if I was going to allowed this type of worry affect what I put in my mouth.
Fortunately, things seem to have turned out okay with my companion. Every day he seems to return more and more to his former sassy self. And as he settles back into his normal routine, I can feel my own stress levels lowering to the point I too almost feel normal again.
I count myself lucky this time. I didn't turn to food when I worried the most. Maybe this new mindset will actually work. All I need to do is remember to take life one breath at a time...